After
receiving several independent pieces of advice that I should bring a motorbike
helmet with me to Uganda, as ‘boda-boda’ moped taxis are the only reasonable
way of navigating Kampala’s notorious traffic snarl ups (documentary proof of
this was kindly given by Top Gear last night). I ventured down to High Holborn
on Saturday to a branch of Infinity Motorcycles to try on a few helmets.
Infinity
on Great Portland Street was where I bought my first bike helmet around 18
years ago, and would have been a nearer option, but the Holborn branch’s
greater range swayed me all the way down there. Unlike at Ellis Brigham I was
more than happy to take the advice of the friendly staff in the shop,
especially when it came to the size of my head. ‘Big’ was how I described it,
which translates into an XL. I was leaning towards an open face helmet as I
won’t have to take off my glasses when putting it on, and I settled on the
Caberg Riviera V2+ in matt black, which I’d had my eye on online. Quite snazzy
with a useful twin face shield arrangement that gives it vague fighter pilot
styling. Plus it was only £80 and if there’s one thing worth being cheap on its
bike helmets.
Purchase
in hand I went back to the tube and ventured a few stops West on the Central
line alighting at the busy Bond Street, I soon cut a swathe through the zombie
hordes of Oxford Street shoppers for the small ginnel to St Christopher’s Place
and onwards to Tommi’s Burger Joint on Marylebone Lane.
On
arriving the 25-seater place was quite thankfully quiet, unlike the already
with a massive queue, Patty and Bun, round the corner. Confident that I
wouldn’t need to do a ‘German tourist’ with the seating arrangements, I made a
beeline for the counter. Surveying the again fashionably small menu, I decided
that I’d premium it up to the Steak Burger, accompanied by fries, béarnaise
sauce and a soda. Upon going to the small fridge to retrieve my £1.70 can of
Coke, I noticed the superbly well-appointed condiment area.
It
was a veritable cornucopia of all types of sauces and a few extras, such as
gherkins and jalapenos that usually come at a premium at other restaurants.
There was spicy salt, vinegar, mayo, bbq sauce, HP sauce, French’s mustard,
wholegrain mustard, Dijon mustard, English mustard, sweet chili sauce, Tabasco,
Frank’s Red Hot Sauce, onion relish and tomato relish, apologies to any
condiments I’ve missed. I went for a few jalapenos and some tomato relish as I
knew I’d be getting the béarnaise as well with my order.
And
so to my table, sadly there were no inane conversations going on nearby, but it
is worth noting one thing about Tommi’s. Tommi himself (if he exists) hails
from Reykjavik, and is the only surviving burger chain in a country that has
ejected the golden arches from its shores. The noteworthy aspect of this seems
to be that Tommi’s presence in London is well known by the expat Icelanders and
whilst I was waiting for my order, the Joint was visited by two stunning
blue-eyed blond ladies picking up a takeaway. I was about to make another trip
to the condiment counter whilst they were there for some witty repartee and
flirting, but was foiled as my name was shouted out indicating that my food
order was now ready for collection at the counter.
Upon
picking up the food I whirled around to find the blondes rapidly exiting the
establishment so I disappointingly returned to my seat to delve into the
culinary delights instead. First off the fries, good solid fries, I had no
issues with them in the little wicker basket with greaseproof paper, especially
after dipping them in either the tomato relish or the delightful béarnaise
sauce. Before I finished the fries however I decided it was time to mix up my
usual eating style, save the best to last, and try half a burger before
polishing off the fries and then the 2nd half of the burger. There’s
probably a poor football joke in there somewhere.
So
the burger, and sadly I have to start with a criticism albeit a minor one.
Plastic knives are no match for this burger and at one point I was worried that
I’d be adding shards of plastic to the ingredients of the burger due to the
amount of shearing the knife experienced. Thankfully it did its job to remain
whole before being unceremoniously dumped in the bin. Looking at the
longitudinal section of the burger I was very impressed with the steak-based
patty as it was definitely chunkier than you get with your usual chuck patty,
and cooked slightly closer to medium that medium rare, which is my usual burger
preference. I decided to take an unadulterated bite first and again was
impressed by the brioche style bun and the especially the patty, very juicy and
chunky. There was a tad too much Iceberg for my liking, but other than that an
excellent burger. For the rest of the burger I decided to smother on some
béarnaise and add the free jalapenos. The result was superb, easily in the top
5 burgers I’ve had in London, but I think Stephen is right and you’re always
nostalgic about your first. Plus I kind of like the hipster-like vibe of
MEATliquor and MEATmarket. Tommi’s whilst pleasant surroundings came across as
a bit too Scandinavian and designed.
I
guess that makes me an aging hipster, but I was hating on those sad sorts way
before they are doing now, don’t they know how stupid they sound. 4 out of 5
would go back, but would like to try out one of their other branches in
Reykjavik.
Burger
Week Part 2 to be continued at Byron, Finchley Road, Sun 3rd Feb
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